When She Has What You Want

When She Has What You Want | Christian Girl Blog | New Wife Blog | Confident Wife Advice | Dealing with Comparison

In our world of cyber comparison, it can be difficult to not constantly be comparing what we have to what she has, or what she’s doing, or all of her blessings. It’s everywhere in our society today that it’s basically considered normal. Comparison is the key ingredient used in marketing campaigns, social media posts and it aspires to convince you that there is something important missing in your life that you need to truly be fulfilled.

Hannah was a woman in the bible well acquainted with comparison and never quite seemed to get her way. While she held the heart of her husband, his other wife held their 10 children, leaving Hannah with a lonely spirit and a sense of failing as a wife. 

But Hannah’s breakthrough didn’t come while comparing and sulking over what she didn’t have. She turned to God for her answers and got back more than she could have possibly imagined…

There once was a man who lived in Ramathaim... His name was Elkanah... He had two wives. The first was Hannah; the second was Peninnah. Peninnah had children; Hannah did not.

Every year this man went from his hometown up to Shiloh to worship and offer a sacrifice to God-of-the-Angel-Armies... When Elkanah sacrificed, he passed helpings from the sacrificial meal around to his wife Peninnah and all her children, but he always gave an especially generous helping to Hannah because he loved her so much, and because God had not given her children. But her rival wife taunted her cruelly, rubbing it in and never letting her forget that God had not given her children. This went on year after year. Every time she went to the sanctuary of God she could expect to be taunted. Hannah was reduced to tears and had no appetite.

Her husband Elkanah said, “Oh, Hannah, why are you crying? Why aren’t you eating? And why are you so upset? Am I not of more worth to you than ten sons?
— 1 Samuel 1:1-8 MSG

Hannah was deeply loved by her husband but he had two wives. And little miss thang over here was popping out children like it was a competition or something. And to top it all off, this other wife was constantly nagging, degrading and putting Hannah down for not having children. I’m sure Hannah constantly, daily, maybe even hourly compared herself to this other wife. She had to deal with comparison all the time. But what I want to talk about is how Hannah found her breakthrough.

Hannah didn’t go to everyone else and complain and feel sorry for herself. I’m sure she was in pain and felt like an absolute failure. But she decided to turn to God and bring the matter to Him.

Crushed in soul, Hannah prayed to God and cried and cried—inconsolably.
— 1 Samuel 1:10 MSG

Hannah went to God with her problems, with her comparisons, with her struggles, and the scripture says three of the most beautiful words I’ve ever read in the bible… “He remembered her.” In her moment of frustration, in the middle of feeling like a failure, in the midst of a mascara-smeared cry, God Almighty remembered His precious daughter. Once she was willing to turn to her Father for her answers, He touched her heart in a way only He could and touched her life so that what was once barren and dry, became full of life.

Before the year was out, Hannah had conceived and given birth to a son. She named him Samuel...
— 1 Samuel 1:20 MSG

Hannah gave birth to Samuel, who if you haven’t noticed, is the name of two books of the bible. He became a mighty Prophet of God who brought tremendous change to this world. God didn’t just give her one measly son… He gave her a son of promise. He gave her a legacy that would live on after her.

God wants to do the same with you. Whatever it is that you are comparing yourself, your life, your marriage, your career, your home, your body, your talents with, God wants you focused on Him because the promises He has for you are so unique, that what other people have will pale in comparison. He wants your heart kept safe with Him so He can fill it with everything He has planned for your life.

It may not seem like you have a lot right now, but everyone else’s lives always seem more spectacular when you’re comparing your insides to their outsides, your dirty laundry with their perfectly polished Instagram feed. Don’t get distracted by the temporal, flashy things that are often covering up a life of searching.

Whatever it is you’re going through, whoever it is that you’re comparing yourself to, just remember to go to God with it. When we go to everyone else with our comparisons, it just drains our strength even more, and then we’re not able to accomplish what God has given us to do on this earth.

You will never find what you are called to do by looking at what she is called to do. Go to God with your frustrations and allow Him to remember you. Let Him show you how much He sees you and the plans that He has for you. Then you will be full of so much strength to take care of your purpose, that you won’t even notice what she is doing and what she has. 

Don’t get distracted by someone else’s story that you forget you are writing your own. Fill these pages with something new and unique. Then you will be able to reach and inspire those your story was meant to help.


The Starry Night

Bible Study: Journey Week Three

You can’t go somewhere that you haven’t first been in your mind. Too often we dream only in ways where we can comprehend our natural selves getting to on our own. But the problem with that is there is no room for God. Where our ability ends, God’s ability begins. But if you never walk over the edge of yourself, you’ll never see what God can do through you.

Abraham was a man with great promise and a huge future, but even he had trouble comprehending God’s bigger vision for his life. It was so big, that God brought him outside one night and told him to count the starts. That’s how big his plans were for him… innumerable.

If you can truly see yourself getting to where you need to go all on your lonesome, then you are NOT dreaming big enough. God’s not interested in giving you a 10-step plan for ultimate success to your dreams because the journey to getting there is what is going to mold you into the person who is able to thrive in those dreams. But will give you a picture, an experience, a starry night, where He will overwhelm you with His greatness that brings you to a place of ultimate dependency on Him. Because that is the only way you will ever accomplish His plans for you life… completely dependent on Him.

Let you mind unplug from all the distractions around you and start to let Him bring you to starry nights, full of promise, purpose and the adventure ahead. Then you can trust Him as He takes you down paths that you never dreamed you’d be on. It’s all in the journey ahead. I’ll see you inside week 3 of the study!


Finding Purpose in Your Everyday

Finding Purpose in Your Everyday | Christian Blog | Owning Your Everyday | New Wife Advice | Finding Purpose | Marriage Advice

From the moment we get engaged, we feel an overwhelming sense of purpose in ourselves… I’m getting married. I’m going to have a wedding. I am going to be the perfect wife. This purpose doesn’t seem lofty or over dramatic at the time, but once the “I Dos” are said, the cakes been cut and the honeymoon is over, we start to understand that perhaps we are still the same person we were before, and perhaps we need a bigger, more significant purpose in our lives than a single-day event or an idea of perfection.

Society puts WAY too much pressure on young women to be the best new wives imaginable… but not just the best. They expect perfection! All you have to do is take a scroll on Instagram, browse the latest stores or flip through HGTV. These women are Super Babes!

But it’s not just society, it’s us too. We put so much pressure on ourselves to be everything to everyone (especially out husbands) that we wind up exhausted and feeling like we’re failing everyone instead (especially our husbands). What happened to that powerful, fit, talented and confident wife we saw in our dreams as we planned our wedding? Was she really just a dream? Or is she still there, waiting for her chance to be made known to this world?

I believe there is so much more potential in you than you realize, but when our priorities are out of sync, or our expectation on ourselves are not realistic, then we stifle this potential, leaving us feeling frustrated. Instead of getting our sense of purpose from how perfect of a wife, friend, sister, woman, Christian we can be, we should start to look somewhere else… somewhere divine and fully within your reach to achieve every single day.

We should never get our sense of worth or value from any one person, relationship or circumstance, because these can always let you down. And trust me, it’s an emotional rollercoaster ride. We have to get our identity, worth and value from Jesus. That way, we’re free to move about our day, full whole and healthy, ready to step into our next purpose… an Ambassador on this earth for God’s Kingdom.

When people experience you, how do you make them feel? I’m not talking about taking responsibility for other people’s moods… that’s a pretty lofty task. But I do mean being intentional to leave every single person you encounter that day a little better off than when you found them.

We’re all too busy with our schedules, duties and demands that we miss the divine moments right in front of us everyday. When you get your eyes off of yourself and onto someone else, it instills a sense of purpose like you’ve never had before. People experience Jesus through other people. Maybe there are moments written out for you to act in; moments that are part of your story on this earth.

As women, we are super relational so I know this can be both hard and the most natural thing in the world. But I promise you that when you start to use your time, energy and heart to listen to other people, to truly see where they are coming from, and to encourage with kind words, you will be infused with so much purpose that your shortcomings will pale in comparison. God is using you to spread his love!

So I guess what I’m saying is that yes, the everyday can feel empty, frustrating and mundane. But when you shift your perspective onto the other people around you, you’ll have an excitement for each moment and an expectation on each encounter. And as you’re faithful to be there for those who are currently in your small sphere of influence, God will bring more of his precious kids your way.

Help make someone’s day a little better and your purpose will never run dry.


A Living Sacrifice

Bible Study: Journey Week Two

The very first step to discovering the good, acceptable and perfect will of God? Becoming a living sacrifice. But there’s just one itty bitty problem with a living sacrifice… it keeps crawling off the alter!

Ever make a decision that your going to start a new habit or quit an old one. You make a genuine confession to God that you will do (blank) when in this certain situation again, but when faced with the same thing, you immediately resort to old ways of behavior? I get it. That’s because we can truly mean what we say, we can forgive wholeheartedly, we can truly declare to God that we will change… and then fall flat on our face. Our decisions to follow our emotions, but our emotions will follow our decisions.

When we make a decision to hand our lives over to God, we have to daily make that same decision not because we didn’t truly mean it the first time, but we all have flash (old habits, thinking, emotions) that don’t really want to comply with our new ways. It keeps trying to crawl off the alter we’re laying ourselves on and if we’re passive in this, we will find ourselves always falling short of what we are truly trying to do.

It’s the same with our dreams. We want to hand them over to God, but daily our flesh will be distracted to have things go our own way. We have to stay active in our resolve to put God on the throne of our hearts and keep Him there.

Join me for week 2 of the Journey Bible Study and let’s see how becoming a living sacrifice actually works in our daily lives.


The Original Storyline

Bible Study: Journey Week One

What if I told you that your dreams are important to God? More than that, what if I said that your dreams were designed by God and His heart is to help you achieve each and every one?

Most of us have one of two views when it comes to our dreams: either we think they are them most important thing in this world and it doesn’t matter who we have to use, abuse or run over to make them happen, or we think they are childish behavior that God wants us to grow out of.

I don’t see either of these views in the bible, but what I do see is a Creator who instills specific dreams, talents and desires inside each and every heart, and how He wants most of all to take this journey with us to discovering what they are, what they mean and how He wants to play them out in our lives.

Because this world will tell you to just go for it, no matter who you hurt, no matter what it takes, and no matter what damage you do to yourself along the way. But can I tell you something? This world really doesn’t care about you or your dreams. They just want you to take their class on “How to Achieve Your Dreams in 5 Easy Steps.” They could care less about the person you become or how much long-term success you actually have.

God has bigger plans for you, plans that would astound you. But before you can dive into what those plans actually are, we need to uncover the original storyline of our Creator, the real story of why you’re here and what God’s ideas of your dreams really are like.

Let’s unpack what this story actually brings out and start on the journey to dream chasing with God.