I can’t tell you how many articles I’ve read on “Why This Guy isn’t Right for You” or “10 Guys to Never Date” or “How to Avoid the Wrong Guy.” It’s a topic that we all want to know more about because we all want to avoid THAT guy- the one that’s so wrong for you in every way but you’re afraid you’ll date him regardless. We write break-up songs about those guys, recount the stories of those guys and sometimes even base our identity on those guys. But what happens when the right guy finally comes along? When our dreams get handed to us, will we even know what to do with them?
I always thought I would just know when I met the right guy; I thought it would be obvious. And when I did, I imagined myself handing over my whole heart, exposing my very soul, and walking into a marriage where I didn’t fear anything. After all, he was finally here right?
What I didn’t realize was that the wounds and hurts from my past wouldn’t just vanish once the right guy came along. Even after Jeff FINALLY approached me about dating, and I knew I wanted to be with him, I still struggled with feeling unworthy of such an incredible guy.
I remember driving up to my parents house in the mountains that weekend, crying and talking to God about Jeff and what I was supposed to do. He made it very clear how he felt and I knew I felt the same, but something icky inside me was trying to keep me down and keep me afraid to make a decision—one of the greatest decisions of my life. As I was driving down the back roads towards Boulder, the sun setting behind the Rockies beside me, I felt God whisper to me, “You believe I think you are worth pursuing, right?” I was able to answer yes with a bit of confusion as to the point He was making. Then He whispered something to my bruised soul I will never forget, “Then why can’t you believe that Jeff thinks you are worth pursuing too?”
Oh… I guess I really hadn’t thought about that too much.
I mean, I knew Jeff thought he wanted to be with me and I knew Jeff thought that I was worth pursuing, but that’s how every guy seems until they decide that it’s not worth it anymore. I realized that I had taken the hurtful qualities of all the wrong guys and put them on Jeff so that if things didn’t work out, I would be able to put him in that “wrong guy” category just like all the rest. But now, as it turns out, he was the RIGHT GUY! (And all the Angels shouted “PLOT TWIST!”)
All of the walls I had built around my heart to protect myself, were finally being asked to come down, and by God of all people! It felt like a lot of trust and I wasn’t sure how to navigate the road I was now on. It’s a good thing my crazy heart isn’t ever a surprise to God. He said to me, “You can trust Jeff because you can trust Me.”
Trusting someone with your heart doesn’t mean that they will never let you down or hurt you, but it does mean that you are trusting God with the process of not only your transformation but of Mr. Charming’s as well. I used to put my faith in guys to make me happy and feel wanted. That’s an impossible task even for the bravest of gentlemen. Taking that responsibility off of him and giving it to God was the greatest thing I could have done for our relationship and it helped me to see Jeff through God’s eyes. When we have His perspective, then we don’t have to worry about falling for Mr. Wrong and we also don’t have to worry about screwing everything up with Mr. Right. We can just walk and trust and move forward into the plans He has for us.
If you haven’t found Prince Charming yet, don’t worry, he’s out there. But you don’t have to fret about how it will happen or if you miss him. Just keep your eyes on Jesus and He will lead you down the road that has good things ahead for you. He’ll guide you, direct you, and when necessary, whisper secrets into your worried heart that will calm your fears and give you strength and courage.
Write this chapter well :)