When You Feel You've Lost Who You Are
There I was, standing on the edge of the ship, looking out across the incredible Alaska Mountains and taking in just how great and creative our God is. But there's something about getting closer to God that draws us to understand ourselves better, and I began to realize that I didn't know myself quite as much as I would have thought.
Somewhere on the road of frustration and stress, I had forgotten who I was and began to see myself through the murky lens of my mistakes. None of us are perfect. That should come as no surprise. So then why do we pretend that we are expected to live like it?
Have you ever been so stressed out and anxious that you stop to look at yourself and you say, "Who is this crazy person?" So much of who we are gets lost on the road of frustration and striving. But who you are is far too important and needed to let slip away.
"When we see ourselves through our performance, we set our own hearts up to be disappointed in ourselves when the truth is we are loved without measure, accepted without strings and adored beyond our actions."
The enemy wants you to look at your life and judge yourself based on your mistakes. God has already taken your life and covered it in His grace. We grasp this when it comes to receiving our salvation but we tend to ignore this when it comes to the rest of our lives.
Our attitude and actions are often determined by how we see ourselves. If you see yourself as a mistake, a sinner, an outcast, a burden etc... then your attitude will reflect what you believe and you'll walk, talk and act in the same way. Take a moment to step away from everything you don't like about yourself, all of your mistakes, frustrations, procrastinations, and anything else that you or someone else has given you a hard time for, and see yourself as God's beloved, royal daughter. Can you even picture it?
This is our resting place. This is who we are, regardless of how we act. Once we truly understand our unwavering and everlasting identity, we will have the strength and courage to walk that out into our lives. Mistakes may come and laugh in your face, but you are NOT a mistake. Think about who you are, thank God for His love and grace. Then pick yourself up, throw your shoulders back and walk away from the mess.
I have to admit that this hasn't always been easy for me. Our flesh loves to be a victim and the more you give into this mentality, it seems like the easier it get's to default there. It would get to the point where I would wonder what is so wrong with me. I owned my mistakes instead of releasing them.
And because I wasn't letting myself off the hook, I assumed everyone else was judging me too. But guess what... they weren't!
We truly are our own worse judge. It's a bit ridiculous.
"No matter how many mistakes you make or where you fall short, your identity stays the same."
We can take comfort in knowing that who we are isn't as fragile as our emotions. I think we would all be in big trouble if who we are depended upon how we felt. Thank God for His grace in our lives that not only picks us up and dusts us off, but also fills us with strength and courage to move forward and into all of the good that He has in store for us. So, let your mistakes drip off you like water and keep on walking not towards perfection, but towards the perfect King of your heart.