When She Has What You Want

When She Has What You Want | Christian Girl Blog | New Wife Blog | Confident Wife Advice | Dealing with Comparison

In our world of cyber comparison, it can be difficult to not constantly be comparing what we have to what she has, or what she’s doing, or all of her blessings. It’s everywhere in our society today that it’s basically considered normal. Comparison is the key ingredient used in marketing campaigns, social media posts and it aspires to convince you that there is something important missing in your life that you need to truly be fulfilled.

Hannah was a woman in the bible well acquainted with comparison and never quite seemed to get her way. While she held the heart of her husband, his other wife held their 10 children, leaving Hannah with a lonely spirit and a sense of failing as a wife. 

But Hannah’s breakthrough didn’t come while comparing and sulking over what she didn’t have. She turned to God for her answers and got back more than she could have possibly imagined…

There once was a man who lived in Ramathaim... His name was Elkanah... He had two wives. The first was Hannah; the second was Peninnah. Peninnah had children; Hannah did not.

Every year this man went from his hometown up to Shiloh to worship and offer a sacrifice to God-of-the-Angel-Armies... When Elkanah sacrificed, he passed helpings from the sacrificial meal around to his wife Peninnah and all her children, but he always gave an especially generous helping to Hannah because he loved her so much, and because God had not given her children. But her rival wife taunted her cruelly, rubbing it in and never letting her forget that God had not given her children. This went on year after year. Every time she went to the sanctuary of God she could expect to be taunted. Hannah was reduced to tears and had no appetite.

Her husband Elkanah said, “Oh, Hannah, why are you crying? Why aren’t you eating? And why are you so upset? Am I not of more worth to you than ten sons?
— 1 Samuel 1:1-8 MSG

Hannah was deeply loved by her husband but he had two wives. And little miss thang over here was popping out children like it was a competition or something. And to top it all off, this other wife was constantly nagging, degrading and putting Hannah down for not having children. I’m sure Hannah constantly, daily, maybe even hourly compared herself to this other wife. She had to deal with comparison all the time. But what I want to talk about is how Hannah found her breakthrough.

Hannah didn’t go to everyone else and complain and feel sorry for herself. I’m sure she was in pain and felt like an absolute failure. But she decided to turn to God and bring the matter to Him.

Crushed in soul, Hannah prayed to God and cried and cried—inconsolably.
— 1 Samuel 1:10 MSG

Hannah went to God with her problems, with her comparisons, with her struggles, and the scripture says three of the most beautiful words I’ve ever read in the bible… “He remembered her.” In her moment of frustration, in the middle of feeling like a failure, in the midst of a mascara-smeared cry, God Almighty remembered His precious daughter. Once she was willing to turn to her Father for her answers, He touched her heart in a way only He could and touched her life so that what was once barren and dry, became full of life.

Before the year was out, Hannah had conceived and given birth to a son. She named him Samuel...
— 1 Samuel 1:20 MSG

Hannah gave birth to Samuel, who if you haven’t noticed, is the name of two books of the bible. He became a mighty Prophet of God who brought tremendous change to this world. God didn’t just give her one measly son… He gave her a son of promise. He gave her a legacy that would live on after her.

God wants to do the same with you. Whatever it is that you are comparing yourself, your life, your marriage, your career, your home, your body, your talents with, God wants you focused on Him because the promises He has for you are so unique, that what other people have will pale in comparison. He wants your heart kept safe with Him so He can fill it with everything He has planned for your life.

It may not seem like you have a lot right now, but everyone else’s lives always seem more spectacular when you’re comparing your insides to their outsides, your dirty laundry with their perfectly polished Instagram feed. Don’t get distracted by the temporal, flashy things that are often covering up a life of searching.

Whatever it is you’re going through, whoever it is that you’re comparing yourself to, just remember to go to God with it. When we go to everyone else with our comparisons, it just drains our strength even more, and then we’re not able to accomplish what God has given us to do on this earth.

You will never find what you are called to do by looking at what she is called to do. Go to God with your frustrations and allow Him to remember you. Let Him show you how much He sees you and the plans that He has for you. Then you will be full of so much strength to take care of your purpose, that you won’t even notice what she is doing and what she has. 

Don’t get distracted by someone else’s story that you forget you are writing your own. Fill these pages with something new and unique. Then you will be able to reach and inspire those your story was meant to help.


Finding Purpose in Your Everyday

Finding Purpose in Your Everyday | Christian Blog | Owning Your Everyday | New Wife Advice | Finding Purpose | Marriage Advice

From the moment we get engaged, we feel an overwhelming sense of purpose in ourselves… I’m getting married. I’m going to have a wedding. I am going to be the perfect wife. This purpose doesn’t seem lofty or over dramatic at the time, but once the “I Dos” are said, the cakes been cut and the honeymoon is over, we start to understand that perhaps we are still the same person we were before, and perhaps we need a bigger, more significant purpose in our lives than a single-day event or an idea of perfection.

Society puts WAY too much pressure on young women to be the best new wives imaginable… but not just the best. They expect perfection! All you have to do is take a scroll on Instagram, browse the latest stores or flip through HGTV. These women are Super Babes!

But it’s not just society, it’s us too. We put so much pressure on ourselves to be everything to everyone (especially out husbands) that we wind up exhausted and feeling like we’re failing everyone instead (especially our husbands). What happened to that powerful, fit, talented and confident wife we saw in our dreams as we planned our wedding? Was she really just a dream? Or is she still there, waiting for her chance to be made known to this world?

I believe there is so much more potential in you than you realize, but when our priorities are out of sync, or our expectation on ourselves are not realistic, then we stifle this potential, leaving us feeling frustrated. Instead of getting our sense of purpose from how perfect of a wife, friend, sister, woman, Christian we can be, we should start to look somewhere else… somewhere divine and fully within your reach to achieve every single day.

We should never get our sense of worth or value from any one person, relationship or circumstance, because these can always let you down. And trust me, it’s an emotional rollercoaster ride. We have to get our identity, worth and value from Jesus. That way, we’re free to move about our day, full whole and healthy, ready to step into our next purpose… an Ambassador on this earth for God’s Kingdom.

When people experience you, how do you make them feel? I’m not talking about taking responsibility for other people’s moods… that’s a pretty lofty task. But I do mean being intentional to leave every single person you encounter that day a little better off than when you found them.

We’re all too busy with our schedules, duties and demands that we miss the divine moments right in front of us everyday. When you get your eyes off of yourself and onto someone else, it instills a sense of purpose like you’ve never had before. People experience Jesus through other people. Maybe there are moments written out for you to act in; moments that are part of your story on this earth.

As women, we are super relational so I know this can be both hard and the most natural thing in the world. But I promise you that when you start to use your time, energy and heart to listen to other people, to truly see where they are coming from, and to encourage with kind words, you will be infused with so much purpose that your shortcomings will pale in comparison. God is using you to spread his love!

So I guess what I’m saying is that yes, the everyday can feel empty, frustrating and mundane. But when you shift your perspective onto the other people around you, you’ll have an excitement for each moment and an expectation on each encounter. And as you’re faithful to be there for those who are currently in your small sphere of influence, God will bring more of his precious kids your way.

Help make someone’s day a little better and your purpose will never run dry.


Moving Past Fear + Anxiety

Moving Past Fear + Anxiety | Christian Girl Resource | Christian Blog | Overcoming Fear | New Wife Blog

Happy Wednesday!

We’re already half way through the week but I know it’s at this point that it can feel as though the weekend will never come. But it will be here before you know it and that’s why it’s so important that we learn to fully live each day as it’s presented to us. Otherwise we’ll look back on this year and wonder what we did with all that time.

One thing I know that can get in the way of us living our lives, and days, to there fullest is fear and anxiety. As women, we all deal with these two pesky trolls to varying degrees, but we’re usually no strangers to either. They implant themselves in our lives and cause commotion without any regard for our emotional and mental health.

But I don’t want to just talk about how real these things are, and our shared hatred for the trail of frustration they leave in their path. But I want to talk about actually moving forward from fear and anxiety. Because if the enemy can keep you stuck and frozen in your tracks, then he can keep you from experiencing the life that God has called you to: one of peace, joy and purpose.

One thing that I think is worth mentioning is how fear and anxiety both usually stem from either outside circumstances or thought patters about things that haven’t even happened yet. AKA, stressed out about life or worried about the future… two things that we have absolutely NO control over.

Because that’s when things get overwhelming… stressing out about things you can’t change. It never ends!

Understanding what is and is not in your control is vital to moving forward from fear and anxiety. While you can’t always change what life throws at you, or when negative and fearful thoughts start to sweep into your mind, you can decide what you’ll do from that moment on…

A couple weeks ago, our cat Mocha started acting weird. It freaked me out because I couldn’t ask him what was wrong and he was in so much pain it made my heart ache. It turns out he head a UTI, which is pretty common among cats. While he was sick, I sat in the basement with him, angry that the enemy would come against something we loved so much. Even though we were doing everything we could to get him better, the worst part of it all was the sense of fear that kept trying to come over me. It was paralyzing.

I knew I couldn’t let fear get anchored in my heart. I had spent so much of my life living in fear without even realizing it, that I knew I had to take a strong stance against it, or it would become a stronghold once again.

I remembered a song I had heard at a Hillsong concert we were recently at and I pulled it up on Spotify and played it for me an Mocha. Here are some of the words I heard…

Your love stood down death
Crushed the devil’s head
Fear is just a liar
Running out of breath
The fight beneath your feet
I’m standing on Jesus’ Name
So let the devil know not today
— Not Today, Hillsong UNITED

Listening to these words put so much into perspective for me. I got excited as I realized that fear has no control over me. As the song says, it’s just a liar running out of breath. It has no patience or perseverance. All it has are tricks of the mind, lies and confusion. Everything I have in Jesus is stronger, sturdier and far more superior.

I started singing this song on repeat and not only did Mocha get better, but I felt fear and anxiety leave my heart to more I said these words out loud. Sometimes, I think your own heart needs to hear your voice declare the truth. After all, you’re probably the most influential person to your own belief system.

You and I were not created to be dominated by fear, anxiety or any other ploy of the enemy that steals our joy, peace and power. It is possible to drive them away, but only if we learn to stand on truth before we feel it, and declare what Jesus did as greater than our feelings.

Listen to the song below and play it as an anthem over you, your family, and your home, whatever is in your domain. And whenever you feel that familiar sense of fear or anxiety start to creep up into your soul, turn this baby on and start speaking truth into your life.

You’ve got this girl. Don’t let fear keep you from the life you truly want to live. It’s not out of reach; it just takes a little intentionality and perhaps a good song or two.

Let’s take control of our thoughts together and start making the enemy regret he ever tried to mess with us.


Walking with Vision

Bible Study: Fight Well Week Six

I am convinced and confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will [continue to] perfect and complete it until the day of Christ Jesus [the time of His return].
— Philippians 1:6

The stories of our lives don’t wait to be written when we feel ready for the task…

Every moment of our lives, the chapters, story arches, victories and failures are being interwoven into the story that makes up your time on this earth, and the beginning of your eternal story. When we don’t think about it like this, we tend not to think about where our lives are going.

You were created to have vision, to walk with purpose and destiny in your bones, dissatisfied with anything less than everything God has for you. This is a big reason why the enemy is threatened by you. The attacks on your life have more to do with who you might be in the future, than who you have been in the past.

It’s as if when the enemy looks at you, he sees the end of the story. He sees your purpose fulfilled, your destiny discovered and it terrifies him! It reminds him of his eternal damnation and your eternal reigning. Too often we judge ourselves based on how we’ve acted, the mistakes we’ve made or the way our lives currently look, and it really doesn’t seem all that intimidating. We make the huge error of assuming this is the way it will always be (a HUGE lie of the enemy) making us passive in our pursuit for more.

We must have vision for our lives. How will you fight well if you don’t know what you’re fighting for? I believe that finding your vision is only the beginning of the journey you will go on to walk out your purpose and discover your unique destiny on this earth. Remember, the enemy doesn’t attack what he is not threatened by, and there is something about you, the real you, and your future that keeps him coming back at you with more.

So throw your shoulders back girl… God’s got a story planned that will astound you and the rest of the world. Let Him do what He does best and stand firm in your vision.

And for us this the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.
— C.S. Lewis, The Last Battle

Always remember to fight your battles well :)


How to Fight Your Battles Well with Racquel Hudson

Bible Study: Fight Well Week Five

Racquel Hudson, survivor, fighter and overall strong girl, is on the Fight Well Bible Study to share with you the keys that brought her from sick on the couch, to living a strong, healthy and impactful life.

One of the most discouraging things that can happen when we're fighting a battle is when we don't see results. Too often we get distracted by the mindset that "If I could just confess the Word enough, then I could make this happen in my life." All of a sudden we start fighting to get victory rather than fighting from victory.

You are not fighting to move God or to get Him to notice you and your struggles, just like your church attendance and volunteer schedule won't change the fact that it's already a done deal. It is finished! God has already provided your complete healing, restoration, provision, prosperity, wisdom and purpose. It's when we get our minds off of what we can get from God and look at what He's already freely given to us, that we begin to start seeing those results.

Join us as we chat about life, Jesus, and fighting our battles well. You won’t want to miss what she has to say!