When She Has What You Want

When She Has What You Want | Christian Girl Blog | New Wife Blog | Confident Wife Advice | Dealing with Comparison

In our world of cyber comparison, it can be difficult to not constantly be comparing what we have to what she has, or what she’s doing, or all of her blessings. It’s everywhere in our society today that it’s basically considered normal. Comparison is the key ingredient used in marketing campaigns, social media posts and it aspires to convince you that there is something important missing in your life that you need to truly be fulfilled.

Hannah was a woman in the bible well acquainted with comparison and never quite seemed to get her way. While she held the heart of her husband, his other wife held their 10 children, leaving Hannah with a lonely spirit and a sense of failing as a wife. 

But Hannah’s breakthrough didn’t come while comparing and sulking over what she didn’t have. She turned to God for her answers and got back more than she could have possibly imagined…

There once was a man who lived in Ramathaim... His name was Elkanah... He had two wives. The first was Hannah; the second was Peninnah. Peninnah had children; Hannah did not.

Every year this man went from his hometown up to Shiloh to worship and offer a sacrifice to God-of-the-Angel-Armies... When Elkanah sacrificed, he passed helpings from the sacrificial meal around to his wife Peninnah and all her children, but he always gave an especially generous helping to Hannah because he loved her so much, and because God had not given her children. But her rival wife taunted her cruelly, rubbing it in and never letting her forget that God had not given her children. This went on year after year. Every time she went to the sanctuary of God she could expect to be taunted. Hannah was reduced to tears and had no appetite.

Her husband Elkanah said, “Oh, Hannah, why are you crying? Why aren’t you eating? And why are you so upset? Am I not of more worth to you than ten sons?
— 1 Samuel 1:1-8 MSG

Hannah was deeply loved by her husband but he had two wives. And little miss thang over here was popping out children like it was a competition or something. And to top it all off, this other wife was constantly nagging, degrading and putting Hannah down for not having children. I’m sure Hannah constantly, daily, maybe even hourly compared herself to this other wife. She had to deal with comparison all the time. But what I want to talk about is how Hannah found her breakthrough.

Hannah didn’t go to everyone else and complain and feel sorry for herself. I’m sure she was in pain and felt like an absolute failure. But she decided to turn to God and bring the matter to Him.

Crushed in soul, Hannah prayed to God and cried and cried—inconsolably.
— 1 Samuel 1:10 MSG

Hannah went to God with her problems, with her comparisons, with her struggles, and the scripture says three of the most beautiful words I’ve ever read in the bible… “He remembered her.” In her moment of frustration, in the middle of feeling like a failure, in the midst of a mascara-smeared cry, God Almighty remembered His precious daughter. Once she was willing to turn to her Father for her answers, He touched her heart in a way only He could and touched her life so that what was once barren and dry, became full of life.

Before the year was out, Hannah had conceived and given birth to a son. She named him Samuel...
— 1 Samuel 1:20 MSG

Hannah gave birth to Samuel, who if you haven’t noticed, is the name of two books of the bible. He became a mighty Prophet of God who brought tremendous change to this world. God didn’t just give her one measly son… He gave her a son of promise. He gave her a legacy that would live on after her.

God wants to do the same with you. Whatever it is that you are comparing yourself, your life, your marriage, your career, your home, your body, your talents with, God wants you focused on Him because the promises He has for you are so unique, that what other people have will pale in comparison. He wants your heart kept safe with Him so He can fill it with everything He has planned for your life.

It may not seem like you have a lot right now, but everyone else’s lives always seem more spectacular when you’re comparing your insides to their outsides, your dirty laundry with their perfectly polished Instagram feed. Don’t get distracted by the temporal, flashy things that are often covering up a life of searching.

Whatever it is you’re going through, whoever it is that you’re comparing yourself to, just remember to go to God with it. When we go to everyone else with our comparisons, it just drains our strength even more, and then we’re not able to accomplish what God has given us to do on this earth.

You will never find what you are called to do by looking at what she is called to do. Go to God with your frustrations and allow Him to remember you. Let Him show you how much He sees you and the plans that He has for you. Then you will be full of so much strength to take care of your purpose, that you won’t even notice what she is doing and what she has. 

Don’t get distracted by someone else’s story that you forget you are writing your own. Fill these pages with something new and unique. Then you will be able to reach and inspire those your story was meant to help.


When You're Starting a New Season

All of us crave new seasons in life. Whether out of boredom, unrest or struggles, the idea of starting fresh appeases the restlessness inside of our hearts. But one of the questions is, what do we do in a new season once we have it?

These past five months have been COMPLETELY new for me: getting married to my best friend, working full-time with my new husband two offices away, learning to cook, clean, host, and manage our money for two. I understood all of this would happen once I got married, but I guess I had this idea that when we said “I Do” that magic fairy dust would fall on us from above and suddenly, I would be fully able to carry out the duties of a wife… without struggling.

I quickly started to see that I was wrong.

New seasons are exciting but they also can feel daunting and we’re often left wondering if we really have what it takes after all. Everything seems so new and foreign and suddenly, the life you once lived is not the life you live anymore. I begin to wonder if I really took full advantage of my previous season and sometimes wish I could translate back in time to better prepare myself for this season and then translate back. But I have to believe that if God brought me to this place, no matter how scary it may seem, I can handle it and not just handle it, but thrive in it.

It’s in moments like these, when we are faced with something so beyond ourselves, that we must run to a God that is so much bigger than us. Take heart in knowing that He did not bring you to where you are so you could fail, but so that you would turn to Him and draw from his strength and power.

In Ephesians 1, Paul shares, what has been for me, the very strength I draw from in this new and unfamiliar season: 

I ask—ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory—to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for his followers, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him—endless energy, boundless strength! All this energy issues from Christ…

Ephesians 1:18-20 MSG

Endless energy, boundless strength… yeah, I could use a little more of that please!

And notice that it says, “All this energy issues from Christ…” When I lean into Christ and his finished work, I not only have access to His strength, but boundless strength, not only His energy, but endless energy. He truly is a God of more than enough!

Whatever new season you find yourself in, embrace it not as an opportunity for you to fail, but an opportunity for God to show Himself mighty in your life. It’s really just another chance for Him to reveal to you how good He is and another chance for you, as his beloved daughter, to run into His arms and remember whose you are. So lift that head up, pop those shoulders back and strut through this season knowing that you are exactly where you need to be. It won’t be long till your next season will come and you’ll wonder what you were so afraid of.

Write this season well :)